Doomsday Preppers Ready for Fourth Wave of Ska
ORANGE COUNTY, Calif. — An increasing number of American punks is preparing for the “frightening and inevitable” doomsday scenario of a fourth wave of ska, well-stocked sources confirmed. Theodore...
View ArticleAging Reel Big Fish Frontman Starting to Find Grey Triangles in Hawaiian Shirts
HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. — 43-year-old Reel Big Fish frontman Aaron Barrett found stray, gray triangles last week on his Hawaiian shirts, witnesses confirmed, a grim reminder that the ska-punk icon is...
View ArticleIt’s National Ska Day Today, and You Can’t Prove It Isn’t
Happy National Ska Day, everyone! That’s right, today we’re commemorating everyone’s favorite Afro-Caribbean-turned-suburban-American horn orgy, ska music! And, by the way, there’s no point in Googling...
View ArticleTrumpet Player Stuck in Traffic Turns Shitty Ska Band Into Okay Punk Band
ORLANDO, Fla. – Terrible local ska band Honk Republic transformed into a halfway-decent punk band late Monday night, when their trumpet player Bobby “Lips” McMurphy missed a gig due to heavy traffic on...
View ArticleShit! According to My Psychic, My Spirit Animal Is That Dancing Guy from the...
All my life, I have felt that my soul was resonating sympathetically with another being’s essence. A spirit animal, if you will. Perhaps my spirit animal could be a fennec fox, with its cute and...
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